The Duct Tape Bandit
Shamrock Liquors in Ashland, Kentucky, didn’t turn out so lucky for Kasey Kazee last weekend when he apparently walked in with his head wrapped in duct tape and demanded money. Like a character from a Beavis and Butthead cartoon, he also wore a t-shirt pulled around his ears. Store manager Bill Steele gave Kazee two rolls of coins before grabbing a (swear to Gawd) duct-tape-wrapped bat from beneath the counter and chasing him outside.
Kazee’s shiny silver head couldn’t have been too hard to spot in the parking lot. (Note to Rednecks: Give up any such ideas of clever disguises. We know who you are.) Another Shamrock employee, Craig Miller, tackled him there and kept him in a chokehold until police arrived. Luckily, most of the coins were retrieved from the surrounding pavement.
The 24-year-old wannabe whatever was charged with first-degree robbery but pleaded not guilty. During a jailhouse interview with a reporter from WSAZ News of Huntington, WV, Kazee denied being the robber or wearing the tape. “They’ve got the wrong man,” he said. Although Ashland police have photos of him wearing the duct tape, and obvious markings remained on his face, Kazee claimed to have no memory of the tape or even of entering the store. “Do I look like the Duct Tape Bandit to you?” he asked with a more or less straight face. (Video at http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/9129056.html)
Do I look like I just fell off a watermelon truck? Truth be told, I reckon lots of crazy things just naturally happen to a guy with a name like Kasey Kazee. What was his mama thinkin’? –Tex