Texas Redneck Games
Imagine 6,000 rednecks, confederate flags waving amid hundreds of camouflage-decorated tents, RVs, ATVs, and Hawgs (motorcycles), gathering for a little live music and drinking, a lot of engine-revving and mud-wollering, and some downright friendly competitions such as the Daisy Duke Showoff (women in cut-off jeans) and the Ugly Butt-Crack Contest (don’t ask). That’s just the tip of the monster truck when it came to the 1st Annual Texas Redneck Games and 2nd Annual Truck Offroad Shootout held at the Rabbit Creek ATV-RV Park near Kilgore on August 5-7.
The organizers’ website (http://www.baddrabbit.com/texasredneckgames05.htm) lists in detail all the exciting events scheduled for the weekend, including the Mudpit Belly Flop, Tampon Tossing, Spam Eating Contest, and Redneck Car Bash to name just a few. A little something for everyone on the grounds of the 3,000-acre park—a mixture of forest, sand, mud bog, and prairie.
The Henderson County Sheriff’s Department reported that more than 54 arrests and citations had been issued on charges from public intoxication to speeding by the time everybody went home. The Mattress Chunk competition (to see how far a team of two men could hurl a mattress from the back of a pickup) seemed to confound Lt. Pat McWilliams, the sheriff’s public information officer. “I’m an old fuddy-duddy and all that,” he said. “But you got a vehicle, you got alcohol, and you got illegal dumping, and you’re making a contest out of that?” According to McWilliams, the organizer could face a misdemeanor charge for not having a permit. Texas law requires any gathering of more than 2,500 people to have one. The neighboring farmers ain’t too thrilled either.
I swear, folks, I’m not making this stuff up. Just another day in my little corner of Redneck Heaven. Any redneck activity to report in your neck of the woods? –Tex
Paula, this is a hoot and a half! But I gotta say, I’m with the farmers. The idea of 6,000 likkered up rednecks does not fill me with glee. But it certainly spells T-E-X-A-S.
Comment by Susan Albert — August 15, 2007 @ 12:44 pm
This sounds like something out of a Tim Robbins book. I kind of like the idea, but I must admit, it’s only the Daisy Duke contest that really peaks my interest. Hey, we all gotta have our contests. I think this compares to the Noodling contest out in Oklahoma every year. They should combine the two and make it one big Daisy Duke, Noodlin’, Beer Drinkin’ shindig!
Chirp
Comment by Chip Kibler — August 16, 2007 @ 10:32 am
This had me really laughing. Chip said it could be something from a Tim Robbins book. I’d vote for a Ben Rehder book. I tell ya, that gathering would’ve been worth going to just for research.
Comment by Helen Ginger — August 16, 2007 @ 10:43 am
You’re right, Helen… that kinda research opportunity doesn’t come along every day. Better believe I’m marking my calendar for next year!
Comment by Tex — August 16, 2007 @ 11:49 am
I’d go with you, but it might be best if someone is available to make your bail.
Comment by Helen Ginger — August 16, 2007 @ 5:21 pm
Man, I have lived far too sheltered a life. Tampon Tossing? Do I really want to know what the rules of THAT game are? But you know, you just don’t hear much about mud-wollering or matress chucking these days. It’s good to know those traditions haven’t faded out completely!
Comment by Ma Titwonky — September 8, 2007 @ 9:14 pm