Redneck Crime

I enjoy your blog and thought I’d share a couple of redneck crime ditties:

Our family lived for a number of years in a very small, southeastern Oklahoma town. We’d moved there from an eastern city of over a million people. It was delightful to live in a place where the worst crime listed in the weekly newspaper was the theft of eleven calves. One week, the paper reported that a man named Mike Smith (also my husband’s name) had stolen the tires off of the Vo-Tech jeep. We never discovered who that other Mike Smith was, and my husband was eyed with humorous suspicion by some local folks for the duration of our time there. People greeted him with, “Hey Mike, can you get me a set of tires cheap?”

Also, a friend of mine owned a farm near Beaver, OK. One day, he discovered that someone had pulled a truck up to one of his pastures and had stolen a small herd of cows, all of whom were pregnant. He reported the theft along with his brand. Several weeks later, he found the herd back in the pasture. By then, they had delivered their calves. The conscientious thief was never caught.

Ahhhh, life in Redneck Country… There just ain’t nothing else like it! Thanks for this, Katherine, and welcome to our HORES posse (Honorary Ornery Redneck Endurers rounding up great stories). A big grin for the brass cajunes of that cattle thief since I can’t imagine anything more challenging than dealing with a herd of pregnant females of any sort, much less overseeing labor and delivery. No big surprise that he soon returned them. –Tex