Redneck Crime

A low-down thief in Homestead, Florida, stole a backhoe, believe it or not, from a construction site this week. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the varmint then used the backhoe to haul away a Bank of America ATM that contained about $100,000 cash, according to a UPI report.

Homestead police are interested in talking to this fella real soon. “I’ve seen some crazy stuff with ATMs and all, but I haven’t seen this before,” police Capt. Ed Bowe told the Miami Herald.

A surveillance video from the bank showed a man in a four-door gold or tan Ford F-250 drive up to the ATM. Four minutes later, the backhoe shows up with a man behind the wheel. “(He) proceeds to use the backhoe to scoop up the ATM. And then the cameras go out,” Bowe said. Police officials think the Ford driver and the backhoe driver could be the same person. The backhoe, by the way, was found a few blocks away. It was still running and soon apprehended. No suspect was onboard, nor have any turned up since.

This particular redneck obviously needed some extra cash to support his fancy Florida fun-in-the-sun lifestyle. Times like that, a good ol’ boy’s probably remembering his pappy’s words back on the farm… “A little hard work never hurt nobody.” Could be his long, hard hours on the farm or in a construction yard are finally starting to pay off. I reckon the State of Florida would be more than happy to even provide him with room and board someday.–Tex