Redneck Crime

Ever since I can remember, probably since the birth of beer and football, the rivalry between the University of Texas and the University of Oklahoma has been legendary. Folks in Dallas, the site of the annual face-off between the two teams, know to stay off the streets on Texas-OU weekend. I suspect the schools long ago decided to meet on neutral territory in order to cut down on the bloodshed and rebel-rousin’ enjoyed by all those good ol’ boys.

One thing’s for sure… It takes a mighty dumb redneck to walk into a bar in Oklahoma City wearing a Texas Longhorns T-shirt. But according to police, that’s just what Brian Christopher Thomas, a 32-year-old Texas fan, did when he strolled into Henry Hudson’s Pub on Father’s Day. Reportedly, the sight of that Texas T-shirt set off some less-than-good-natured “football trash talk” by Oklahoma fan Allen Michael Beckett, 53, a church deacon and Army combat veteran. Thomas later told police that he tried to ignore Beckett but finally gave up. When he went to the bar to pay his tab, he said, Beckett grabbed him in the crotch, pulled him to the ground and wouldn’t let go, so he fought back. By the time the other bar patrons separated the two men, according to Thomas, he had suffered an injury to his ahem private parts that required about sixty stitches at a nearby hospital.

Billy Bock, Beckett’s attorney, admitted that his client may have commented about Thomas’ shirt, but said it was just good-natured ribbing and that Beckett even apologized to Thomas when he got upset. Then, Bock said, Thomas approached Beckett at the bar and threatened him. “My guy (client Beckett) was defending himself and just took control of the situation.”

Beckett, a federal auditor, has pleaded not guilty and will appear in court again October 4, two days before the Sooners and Longhorns game at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. He faces up to five years in prison and a $500 fine if convicted of aggravated assault and battery. Thomas has returned to his job as a Sam’s Club meat-cutter. Neither man attended either university, obviously.

Boys will be boys? Hell… When it comes to football, rednecks and booze, I reckon we’re talking a whole other life form! — Tex